Connecting Mind, Body & Spirit
I was a yogini & I didn't even know it!
In 2016, my Daddio transitioned from this realm existence. It left me struggling with anxiety, panic attacks and my own mortality. A dear friend gifted me a notebook as part of a grieving basket with a note that said something to the effect of “a safe-space for all of your BIG feelings you’re not ready to say out loud.” It was the start of my scripting practice; a way to explore my thoughts and feelings and to discover new ways of rewiring my brain through the process of inquiry and reflection. It would be another two years and 3 journals before I would learn that I was practicing the yogic principle of Svadhyaya, also known as self-study. I would go on to incorporate yoga into my lifestyle and become a certified yoga teacher with over 600 hours of training and experience in vinyasa, yin, prenatal, trauma-informed yoga and yoga for corporate settings.
Hey Y'all Hey!
Yoga for Corporate Settings
I would go on to
continue to transmute negative energy and self-doubt through my self-inquiry and scripting process, now 6 journals (and counting) later.
We gained a basic, foundational understanding of what yin yoga is and how it impacts our bodies anatomically. We explored some visualizations that made our inherent anatomy more relatable because we don't see the details of our musculo-skeletal structure on a daily basis. We defined prana and used our breath to expand our practice (also referred to as pranayama in Sanskrit) by using a specific technique called square or box breath. Ultimately, we learned a method to naturally detoxify our bodies through yin yoga, while increasing our flexibility, mobility
However, I found myself pondering: “to be or not to be a mom?”
I had assisted my sister with the prenatal and postpartum phases of her three pregnancies - the earliest of which was 2008 - having no idea I was performing some of the duties of a doula. I didn’t even know what a doula was at this time! By 2015, my best friend had two kids and my other best friend’s wife also had two kids. I would intently listen to each of them during their pregnancies - how they were feeling, what changes their body was going through and the comparisons between their first and subsequent pregnancies.
I knew there were problems with the medical system, in general; but, I was not fully aware of how dangerous it was for black women to have a baby in the hospital setting in the US, until my friend's experience hit too close to home. My best friend’s wife almost died delivering her second son due to misdiagnosed preeclampsia. She suffered two grand-mal seizures and we weren’t sure if she was going to make it. Luckily she and my nephew pulled through and she went on to become a doula, which directly contributed to my desire to become a doula.
Two common threads I recognized:
1.) anxiety increased with subsequent pregnancies due to being more informed with age about the dangers of pregnancy
2.) all three of these black women received substandard care for at least one or more of their pregnancies.
Supporting my friends' and sister's birthing experiences fueled my quest for knowledge to be the best advocate for myself in determining whether or not I want to be a mom and all that goes into it: conscious conception, conscious pregnancy and conscious parenting; again, with little to no medical intervention. Although I am still personally undecided, I want to support and learn from birthing folks by providing them with all of their options for their specific set of circumstances. I want them to feel validated, understood and be respected at each step along the journey. I want my clients to remember their birth stories as whole, natural, safe and positive events - not lacking humanity or kindness or being viewed through the lens of a liability or inconvenience.