The Beginning ...
Updated: Aug 3, 2020
Although this website launched today, Friday, July 31st, 2020 - an ordinary day turned extraordinary in my story - the true beginning was 4 years ago...
Back in 2016, I formed my LLC and registered my copyright, brimming with ideas and eager to begin as an entrepreneur. However, the analytical side of my brain overrode practical logic and said, "you don't have a contract," you don't have a trademark," "you don't have a business banking account," " you don't know html," "yeah girl, you may have learned Adobe suite in that fashion design class 8 years ago, but that logo is a joke (yes, the ones featured in this post)," on and on... Until, ultimately, the perfection paralyzed me. I stopped investing in my passion. I gave up on myself under the excuses "this is too hard" and "if I can't do it right, I am not going to do it at all." I stopped working on my business and focused on my corporate marketing career because that was a sling shot to success, right? WRONG! Well, at least not "success" as I would define it at this point in my life.
There was this gaping chasm between what I was doing with my time and energy versus how I was feeling about myself and my life. Self inquiry prompted the question: "what do you want to be remembered for?" The answer, demonstrated by my choices, clung to the walls of my throat, sticky with regret. "We remember Tish Torres, she devoted decades of her life to a corporation and an industry that she did not love - all for the sake of a paycheck." YIKES! I could not go out like that y'all! I could not betray this precious gift of life by living for another entity. A reevaluation of my priorities guided me to commit to my values of faith & wellness in a new way. I was a student athlete in high school and remained active through college and post grad with weight training, HIIT workouts and running - using yoga sporadically to maintain flexibility. I decided to flip-flop my regiment by emphasizing yoga and using weight training as a compliment to maintain strength.
June 2018, I attended my first yin yoga class at Hot Yoga Revolution in Cranford, New Jersey. During that class, a song with native drums sounds played. My heart and breath synced to the rhythm in such a restorative union that brought me to tears. Something sparked within me. A force forgotten, now shifting. Awakened. I spoke to the instructor about my experience after class. We talked for at least an hour. She expressed that the world was in need of healing in a way that was more necessary than ever before. "The light bringers are being awakened. Welcome to the journey!" She would eventually become my yin yoga trainer, guide and friend. She knows who she is. A force of nature! My cup runneth over with gratitude to God, Gail & the Universe (whom I also lovingly refer to as, GGU) for our divine alignment.
"The light bringers are being awakened. Welcome to the journey!"
I signed up for my 200RYT that fall with the studio and graduated in April 2019. Using the word "completed" to describe that process would not do it justice. My perspective on life elevated in such positive ways that I did not think was possible for me while maintaining reality.That training supported me through the rebirth where I discovered life-long practice, instead of attainment: yoga as a lifestyle, in all of its multi-faceted methods and wonder. I was preparing myself as the healer I was meant to be and started sharing my gifts, immediately. We graduated on Sunday, April 7th and I had my first teaching gig that Thursday.
2020 embodied cataclysmic change, on so many levels...
I dusted off my LLC and got my paperwork current. This time, I will not be defeated by the negative narratives of self doubt. This time, I am and will continue doing the things that touch my soul. This time, I will allow myself the grace to build gradually, unbothered by attainment of societal standards and adhering to "their" timelines. This time, is my time. My time is dedicated to my life's purpose. In my time, there is no stopping me.
While trifling through manilla folders and pages of notes, I came cross my copyright registration submission. Here's the origin story of Project Fruition:
Once upon a time, there was a young post-graduate on the verge of crumbling beneath the manifested weight of self-doubt. Despite completing nearly 20 years of consecutive schooling at an honorary level, it seemed the wealth of information studied was rich with opportunity but the translation into “success” was muddied by a new set of questions:
What happens now?
Because the field you poured over for the past decade is now brimming with MBA candidates in the job market – three letters who’s combined luster of distinction have eroded with the economy.
What is success?
Because the carrot of As and B+s has been attained (finally!) and what lies before you is no longer the treadmill that gradually increases its inclination to graduation. No, before you lies something akin to the Triwizard Maze (Lost you, have I? How about Pan’s Labyrinth – ring a bell? Good, moving on …), riddled with obstacles and the more-than-occasional roadblock that nags your sense of consciousness. An incessant provoking:
Why am I doing this?
Do I have what it takes?
Because you spent thousands of dollars crafting answers to address a particular professor’s line of questioning; but, now that the mortar has been volleyed and the countdown of Sallie Mae’s grace-period has begun, you scrape your pockets to find coins, lint and an empty gum wrapper as the sponsors of the quest to answer these questions with the panicked hope of being innovative enough to fashion these resources into a stable income.
Although overwhelmed, the young post grad found solace in one ironic comparison:
I am not alone.
There was an abundance of those who shared this mindset, this weight. Thus, the young post-graduate devised a plan to document the stories of these individuals on their journey to self-attributed success with anxious composed hope of being inspiring and motivating enough to cast these stories into reality. (Yes, “reality” includes a real paycheck).
And so, the young post-grad ascribed passion to transform her dreams from inception to actualization and she named it Project Fruition
The Beginning ...